Who Are Those Two Funny Pt Guys
These insanely stupid jokes from Ask Reddit volition give yous belly laughs.
1.My wife told me to cease acting like a flamingo.
I had to put my foot downward.
2.What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAANNNNND EYEEEEEEE.
3.Why are gay people always smiling?
Considering they can't keep a directly face.
4.Why did David Hasselhoff alter his proper noun to "The Hoff?"
Information technology'southward less hassle.
five.Why does Waldo wear stripes?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
6.A human being enters a pun contest in his local paper. He sends in ten puns, hoping at least one of them would win, but unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
7.Two hunters are out in the forest when i of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let'south brand sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the telephone, the guy says "OK, at present what?"
eight.Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says, "May I merely say one word?"
"Sure," she replies.
"Plethora."
The widow says, "Thanks. That means a lot."
9.A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
10.To be frank, I'd have to change my name.
eleven.I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, only it was also terrible.
12.Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
thirteen.Why did the craven go to prison?
Crimes.
fourteen.A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
15.Why exercise ducks have feathers? To cover their barrel quacks.
16."Take you heard of Spud's Law, that if something can become wrong, it will go wrong?"
"Yes."
"Well have you lot heard of Cole's Law?"
"No."
"It'southward more often than not cabbage."
17.A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where'southward the bar tender?"
18.What exercise you practise when your hot pants catch on fire?
Put them out with your pantyhose.
nineteen.The guy in forepart of me at 7-11 left his Breathsavers on the counter. The cashier said I could take them, simply I have abandoned mint issues.
20.A drummer'southward wife had quadruplets. He wanted to proper name each 1 Anna. She asked how they volition tell them apart. He replied, "Anna1, Anna2…"
21.What do you lot phone call a pitiful cup of coffee? Depresso.
22.Why don't chickens wearable underwear?
Because their pecker is on their face.
23.What's green and has wheels?
Grass! I lied nearly the wheels.
24.What'due south the dumbest animal in the jungle?
A polar behave.
25.A naked guy only dunked his balls in glitter.
That'south pretty basics.
26.A Mexican wizard told his audience he was going to vanish on the count of three. He counted, "Uno, dos…" and disappeared without a tres.
27.Why do scuba defined spring backwards out of the boat?
Because if they jumped forward, they'd still exist in the boat.
28.Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says to the 2d, "Take you lot heard nearly this mad cow illness? It makes cows go crazy and so they die." The 2d cow replies, "Skilful affair I'm a helicopter."
29.A pirate walks into a bar. He'south walking bow legged, because he has a steering wheel chained between his knees.
The bartender asks the obvious, "Why do you take a steering bicycle chained between your legs?"
The pirate answers, "Yaaaaarr, I don't know, but it'south drivin' me nuts!"
30.What practise we want? "Plane noises!" When do we want them? "Nyeow!"
31.What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don't similar the Flinstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooooooooooooooo!
32.What practise you get when you lot cantankerous a joke with a rhetorical question?
33.What practice you get when you combine a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lies awake at nighttime wondering if there's a dog.
34.What did i nut say when information technology was chasing the other nut?
Im a cashew.
35.If Russians pronounce B'south as V'south and then Soviet.
36.What was Due east.T short for?
Because he had little legs.
37.I have many jokes almost unemployed people. Sadly none of them work.
38.You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran because it's past tents.
39.Why'd the one-time human being fall downward the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
twoscore.A human walked into a zoo. At that place was one dog. Information technology was a Shih Tzu.
41.I saw a squeamish stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the book is stuck on 'high'
I couldn't turn it down.
42.How do you remember the unthinkable?
With an ithberg.
43.What practice you phone call a cleaved can opener?
A tin can't opener.
44.What did the grape say when the elephant sabbatum on it? Nothing, just it let out a little vino.
45.Why can't the pope be cremated?
Cause he'south alive.
46.Steak jokes are a rare medium well done.
47.The leper's hockey game was cancelled due to a face off in the corner.
48.Have you ever smelled moth balls earlier?
How do you become their little legs apart?
49.What's the best thing virtually Switzerland?
Well the flag's a big plus.
l.Knock knock
Who'southward there?
Quiet horse
Repose horse who?
(In a whisper) Neigh…
51. Where did Sally get when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
52.What do y'all telephone call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
53.When someone says they are cold, tell them to stand up in a corner. Information technology's ninety degrees.
54.What's Grey and non very heavy?
Calorie-free grayness.
55.Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in the fissure.
56.As presently every bit you detect someone with 10,000 bees, marry them.
That'southward how you know they're a keeper.
57.Did you know the original French fries weren't fried in France?
They were fried in Grease.
58.Exercise you know why Scottish people call it a kilt?
Because they kilt the last man who called it a skirt!
59.Why tin can't male child ghost take babies? Considering they have hallow weenies.
60.I thought I picked a booger out of my nose, but it'due south snot.
61.Be wary of stairs…they're nearlye'er up to something.
62.What does a dog eat for breakfast?
Woofles.
63.What'southward xanthous and smells like bananas?
Monkey vomit.
64.In order to spell Panda, all you need is p and a.
65.Why did the cowboy become a dachshund?
Because someone told him to get a long little doggie.
66.Did you lot hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay. He woke up.
67.Why did the sperm cantankerous the road?
Considering I put on the wrong sock this morn.
68.What practise you call a human being with a rubber toe? Roberto.
69.Want to hear ii curt jokes and a long ane?
Joke Joke Joooooooooooooooke. 
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Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/12/69-punchlines-so-stupid-they-are-actually-funny/
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